Letter from Mattie to Clara, May 29

noyes_c_cor_723.pdf

Dublin Core

Title

Letter from Mattie to Clara, May 29

Subject

Death; Grief; Parents--Death; Prayers

Description

Mattie writes to Clara grieving over their father's recent death. The news sent her into a sort of shock as the news was very hard for her. Mattie is thankful that Clara wrote about her last hours with him in great detail. She was also very glad to hear that their father did not pass away alone.

Creator

Kerr, Noyes Martha

Source

The College of Wooster, Special Collections, Noyes Collection, Box #3

Publisher

Unpublished

Date

05-29

Contributor

Council on Library and Information Resources Hidden Special Collections Grant

Format

PDF

Language

eng (English)

Type

Text

Identifier

noyes_c_cor_723

Text Item Type Metadata

Text

Sabbath May 29th
[u]My dear Clara[/u] -
I do not know what
to write. My mind is dazed
with the news of fathers death
Was out at prayers when
I saw old Eshuk coming in
with his bag of mail. Waited
with the utmost impatience
for Kwan Loi to bring his
remarks to close then
rushed in saying oh Dr the letters
have come where are they
There he pointed on the desk
but there is nothing from
Josie or Olivia. I saw one
from Dr Graves took all the
home mail up sat down
in the rocking chair and
opened the Drs first. As I wrote
to Edward he had copied the
telegram Edward sent and his
reply. The news came upon me

like a thunder clap. For a
minute or two it seemed as
though my senses had left me
I looked at the words
"Father died this morning
Funeral delayed Answer" as though
they had no meaning I could
not take it in. I came up stairs
and shut myself into our rooms
It seemed as though for a time
very life was going out of
me.

May 28th I wrote thus far
yesterday but had to stop.
To night the letters came
telling us about fathers last
hours. My thoughts have been
in the dear home incessantly
ever since the sad news
came The Dr and I read
the letters together How good
of you to write so much, to tell
me every thing you could Oh

in imagination I see you as
you stood around the still
form feeling that those lips
must open and speak once
more. Now wonder you were all
overwhelmed with the sudden
shock. But oh the relief to know
you were with him - that he did
not die along in the night in
one of those cramps. My mind
has been tortured with the
fear that he might have
passed away in the night
and been found in the morning
[illegible]. I knew it was very
very sudden or you would
have telegraphed to Henry of his
illness Your description of
him as he lies in his last
sleep is so beautiful. I can
easily believe that his face
is pure and saintly, so tender
and such a strong face.
But it did surprize me when

you said there was no appear
ance of feebleness in it but
rather of strength. How blessed
it was that "the last year he
has been so well and enjoyed
life" Oh if [u]I could only see[/u]
that [u]dear precious face once
more[/u]. No one not even
Dr Kerr knows him and
no one can have any idea
what a father we had.
No one can know how
unlike he was to any one
else. Oh it sometimes seems
as though my life would go out
almost in this agony of feeling
And there is no time here
even to mourn Oh that is the
bitter part of it. Hearts are
well nigh breaking but there
is no stop. We can not be
in quiet long enough even
even to read of the death of
those we love as our own
life. Oh we can not can not

[Note: Letter concludes sideways on page one]
must leave it. God bless you all every one and help you
We have always prayed together Dr Kerr and I every night that
is if our sur-
roundings would
allow and we
always prayed
for father and
mother - Now
their names
have dropped
out but we
always pray
for you all
every night.
Clara you
seem like
a tower of
strength there
The Lord [u]keep
you for us[/u]
Lovingly
Oh I mean Mattie [--M N Kerr--]
You must never think [?of?] me as any thing else



5月29日安息日
我亲爱的克拉拉——
我不知道
来写。我的头脑发呆
随着父亲去世的消息
出去祈祷的时候
我看见老埃舒克进来了
带着他的邮袋。等待
以最大的不耐烦
让Kwan Loi带上他的
备注然后关闭
冲进来说哦,信博士
来了他们在哪里
他指着桌子上
但没有什么来自
乔西或奥利维亚。我看到一个
从格雷夫斯医生那里拿走了所有
家庭邮件坐下
在摇椅和
首先打开了医生。正如我所写
他抄写给爱德华
爱德华发出的电报和他的
回复。消息传到我身边

像雷声一样。为一个
一两分钟
虽然我的感觉已经离开了我
我看着字
“父亲今天早上去世了
葬礼延迟回答”仿佛
他们没有任何意义我可以
不接受。我上楼了
把自己关在我们的房间里
好像一时间
生活快要结束了
我。

5 月 28 日我写到现在
昨天却不得不停下来。
到了晚上,信来了
最后告诉我们关于父亲的事
小时。我的想法是
在亲爱的家里不停地
自从那个悲伤的消息
我和博士来了
字母在一起多好
你写这么多,告诉
我的一切你可以哦

在想象中我认为你是
你站在静止的周围
形成感觉那些嘴唇
必须打开并发言一次
更多的。现在想知道你们都是
突如其来的不知所措
震惊。但是哦,知道了就松了一口气
你和他在一起——他做到了
不死在夜里
抽筋之一。我脑海
已经被折磨
担心他可能有
在夜里去世
早上被发现
[难以辨认]。我知道这是非常
非常突然,否则你会
已经电报给亨利他的
疾病 你的描述
他躺在他的最后
睡眠是如此美丽。我可以
轻易相信他的脸
纯洁圣洁,如此温柔
和这样一张坚强的脸。
但它确实让我感到惊讶

你说里面没有软弱的样子,但是
而不是实力。多么幸福
那是“去年他
一直很好,很享受
生活”哦,如果我能看到
那张珍贵的脸曾经
更多的。甚至没有人
克尔博士认识他,并且
没有人可以有任何想法
我们有一个多么好的父亲。
没有人知道怎么做
不像他对任何人
别的。哦,有时似乎
好像我的生命会消失一样
几乎在这种痛苦的感觉中
而且这里没有时间
甚至要哀悼哦 那是
苦涩的一部分。心是
快要崩溃了,但那里
是没有停止。我们不能
在安静的足够长的时间里,甚至
甚至读到死亡
那些我们爱的人
生活。哦我们不能不能

[注:信在第一页结束]
必须离开它。上帝保佑你们每一个人,帮助你们
我们总是每天晚上都和克尔医生一起祈祷
如果我们的环境会
允许,我们
总是祈祷
为父亲和
妈妈——现在
他们的名字
已经下降
出去,但我们
总是祈祷
为大家
每晚。
克拉拉你
看起来像
一座塔
那里的力量
主[你]保持
你为我们
亲切地
哦,我是说玛蒂 [--M N Kerr--]
你绝不能把我当成别的东西

Original Format

Letter

Citation

Kerr, Noyes Martha, “Letter from Mattie to Clara, May 29,” Letters from Harriet Noyes: Missionaries and Women's Education in Nineteenth Century China, accessed March 29, 2024, https://noyesletters.org/items/show/794.

Output Formats