Section of Unsigned Letter to Clara

Section of Unsigned Letter to Clara

Parents--Death; Parents--Death--Religious aspects; Funeral service; Burial

Mattie writes to Clara following the death of their father. She is full of grief and encourages Clara to allow herself to grieve and feel emotions deeply. The body is being kept in their house and they are delaying the funeral until Henry gets home and can see his father, who he has not seen in 11 years. Henry's son, Willie, is also grieving. Mattie apologizes for not writing for Clara's birthday.

Kerr, Martha Noyes

Loose, The College of Wooster, Special Collections, Noyes Collection

Unpublished

Circa April 1888

Council on Library and Information Resources Hidden Special Collections Grant

PDF

eng (English)

Text

noyes_c_cor_594

hear it and yet we must.
If I could only be with you
and our precious dead just
one hour and feel that
that hour would be un-
disturbed no one knows what
it would be worth. Oh Clara
to have one and another
taken, to reach out the hands
into vacancy, to think by
day and dream by night about
it all and yet feel you
must go to the table every
time the bell rings and try
to be interested in all the little
nothings about you, to look
after every little thing just as
though it was of the utmost
importance, and then have
people say as they have to day
"Oh well you could not of
course expect he would live"
to feel as though it would be

felt a little unreasonable to give
way when he had been spared
so long Oh Clara Clara be
thankful that you can sit
down for a little while and
indulge your grief amid
those who loved our precious
father and knew just a little
of what it was to lose him
And when Hattie comes back
I know just how it will be oh
yes I know. She never never
did have time for any thing
and I know oh so well she never
never will. Why I have not
seen the three over there
20 minutes all together since
I heard of fathers death.
Oh Clara Clara the heart cries
out in anguish and rises some
times in rebellion against
this state of things but you
continue to shut your sorrows
within your own breast and
go on sometimes with apparent

indifference, looking upon
others as having no part or lot
with you in the matter, at
others you feel as if you must
fly away somewhere any
where to be alone and give
way to your feelings just as
you want to. Oh father father
father how you could love
me as much as you did
has been more and more
of a mystery every day but
you did I know you did
In spite of all my faults that
heart loved on still. It
was so Christ-like. The Dr
and I feel that it [--would--]
will be such a strain
upon you to have the
funeral delayed so long but
perhaps it will seem a
little like a presence in
the house and will
comfort you all to have the

body with you still. I know
just what a comfort it will
be to Henry to see his face
once more. It will be an
unspeakable comfort. I
remember so well how I was
comforted looking upon dear
Aunt Fays pleasant face
it was so natural that she
seemed to be asleep. Henry
will remember how he
looked at the last of his life
if he sees him now,
for it has been eleven years
since he has seen him.
Dear little Willie "feels his
death very much" I knew
he would. Dear precious little
boy. I wish he could be at
the funeral. My dear sister
I did not forget your birthday
but the mail was coming
early the next morning and
I thought we should get it before
the 21st was over in Ohio and
I would write after they came.
But in Dr Graves came the telegran
and I could not write. It is all
right we know that and there we



听到它，
但我们必须。如果我只能与你和我们珍贵的死者在一起一小时，
并且觉得那一小时不会受到打扰，
没有人知道它会有什么价值。哦，
克拉拉，
一个又一个被拿走，
把手伸进空缺的地方，
白天思考，
晚上做梦，
却觉得每次铃声响起时你都必须走到桌边，
试着对所有的事情感兴趣关于你的小事，
把每一件小事都当成最重要的一样照顾，
然后让人们像今天一样说“哦，
你当然不能指望他会活着”，
感觉好像它会当他被赦免这么久时，
让位感到有点不合理哦克拉拉克拉拉感谢您可以坐一会儿，
在那些爱我们珍贵的父亲并且只知道一点点的人中放纵您的悲伤失去他当海蒂回来时，
我知道会怎样哦，
是的，
我知道。她从来没有时间做任何事情，
我很清楚她永远不会。为什么自从我听说父亲去世以来，
我没有看到那边的三个人在一起 20 分钟。哦，
克拉拉，
克拉拉，
你的心在痛苦中哭泣，
有时会反抗这种状态，
但你继续把悲伤藏在自己的胸中，
有时表现得漠不关心，
视别人与你无关在这件事上，
在别人身上，
你觉得你必须飞到任何地方独自一人，
随心所欲地让位于你的感情。哦，
爸爸，
爸爸，
爸爸，
你怎么能像你一样爱我，
每天都变得越来越神秘，
但你做到了，
我知道你做到了，
尽管我有所有的错误，
那颗心仍然爱着。这太像基督了。医生和我觉得将葬礼推迟这么久对你们来说是一种压力，
但也许它看起来有点像家里的存在，
并且会安慰你们所有人，
让尸体还在你们身边。我知道再次看到他的脸对亨利来说是多么的安慰。这将是一种难以言喻的舒适。我记得很清楚，
看着亲爱的费伊阿姨和蔼可亲的脸，
我是多么的欣慰，
那是那么自然，
她似乎睡着了。如果亨利现在看到他，
他会记得他是如何看待他生命的最后一刻的，
因为他已经十一年没有见到他了。亲爱的小威利“非常感受到他的死”，
我知道他会的。亲爱的宝贝小男孩。我希望他能参加葬礼。我亲爱的姐姐，
我没有忘记你的生日，
但是邮件第二天一早就到了，
我想我们应该在俄亥俄州 21 日结束之前收到它，
然后我会在他们来了之后再写信。但是格雷夫斯医生收到了电报，
我不能写信。没关系，
我们知道，
我们在那里

Letter