Section of Clara's Journal, August 30th - December 25th 1875

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Title

Section of Clara's Journal, August 30th - December 25th 1875

Subject

Family; Birthdays; Travel; Brothers and sisters; Morphine; Fever; Diarrhea; God; Grief; Thanksgiving day; Chest pain; Tumors; Death and burial; Christmas; Sermons

Description

These journal entries from Clara follow Francis's last couple of months and his worsening condition. The entries start the day before his 37th birthday. Frank is afraid that he won't be able to see his siblings that are overseas. Frank was upset when Sarah left because she had become his caretaker; Clara filled the role in her absence. Clara remarks that she feels as if their "treasure is slipping away", the family worries more every day. Frank mentions Hannah's (his wife's) death and is upset about how all her things were distributed around the house. Clara returns her things to where they belong. As the days go on, Frank knows he is going to die and asks that his family not forget him. A doctor finds a tumor and soon after, he falls unconscious and passes on as if he had "fallen asleep." Hannah's engagement ring is placed on his finger when he is buried so they can be together. This was copied for Martha on July 10th, 1877.

Creator

Noyes, Clara

Source

Loose, The College of Wooster, Special Collections, Noyes Collection

Publisher

Unpublished

Date

1875-08-30 to 1875-12-25

Contributor

Council on Library and Information Resources Hidden Special Collections Grant

Format

PDF

Language

eng (English)

Type

Text

Identifier

noyes_c_journal_856

Text Item Type Metadata

Text

Aug 30th Monday,
Sarah drove over
to Will Hurlburt's but Frank did not feel
like going, said it was too near the middle of
the day.
Aug 31st Wednesday,
Edward Sarah + I went out to Weymouth
Sept 1st. we came home, found Frank on the
lounge feeling very miserable. I gave him
the word Mrs Nettleton sent to him, namely
that she herself had been an invalid so long
that she knew how to sympathize with him,
that she thought of him often and sent
her sympathy. He seemed so pleased said
that she knew what it was to be sick for a
long time, said they had received China
letters during our absence, and his birthday
letters among them.

Sept 5th Sabbath.
Frank was very feverish during
the afternoon, we felt anxious fearing he would
be sick and knowing he could endure but little.
While I was studying the lesson for the next
Sabbath he asked for a lesson leaf and we
looked it over together [u]the last time[/u]. The lesson
was the first part of the 10th Chapter of John.
I remember anxiously wondering how the next
Sabbath would find him.
Sept 6th Monday.
It seemed so warm that Frank
went into the North bedroom after breakfast.
Frank + Sarah Leibell called to see him +
he came out though hardly able to do so.
Sarah wanted to get some of his cod liver
oil and he went up stairs after it + brought
her one of his little striped [--gourds--] gourds, said
she could use it when mending stockings.
Sept 7th Tuesday.
He did not leave his room (the
South Chamber). Mother was with him

2
nearly all the forenoon and he told her
that he was afraid he should never live
to see [u]Henry + Hattie[/u], seemed sad and
discouraged all day, and he had coughed
almost incessantly for several days so was
quite weak, he had taken large doses of mor
phine and [--so--] obtained a little sleep.
Sept 8, Wednesday.
We fitted up the study for him thinking
he would find it more comfortable there
Edward Em + I went to town in the evening
to practice some music for the Soldiers Reunion
which was to occur the next day.
Sept 9 Thursday.
Sarah went to Cleveland to consult Dr
Salisbury about Frank. The Dr seemed
to think the cold of little consequence, said
that he must wear it out. Frank said
when Sarah told him that he thought the
cold was wearing him out pretty fast. The
Dr sent him medicine for the fever + told
Sarah to write to him in a few days.

The Soldier's Reunion was held in the Town
Hall. Edward Em + I went down as it seemed
almost necessary on account of the music
we felt very anxious and Em came home
at noon, found him sleeping. When we came
home at night he was sitting up, Mary
was with him, had been reading to him.
We told him as much as possible about the
meeting. Fowler Nettleton called to see him and
it seemed to do him a great deal of good.
Mother brushed + bathed him a great deal
every day and it always seemed to make
him more comfortable.
Thursday Sept 16.
Sarah went back to Columbus
this morning. I had decided not to return
to Wooster so she thought she had better
go to Columbus. Frank said when he bade
her good by "Sarah I shall miss you [u]ever so
much[/u]". She had taken the care of his medicine
+ been with him most of the time. He came
down stairs in the forenoon and did not go
back until night. He told me I must
take Sarah's place now that she was gone.
I told him I could not promise to fill it

3
but would be glad to do the very best I could
for him. Thursday Sept 23rd.
Chloe Brown came up
+ spent the evening. She was going to California
in a few days and bade Frank good bye
telling him that she [u]hoped[/u] he would soon be
strong again. Mr McLaughlin (cabinet maker)
also called a few moments. He was one of
Frank's most intimate friends.
Sat Sept 25th.
Edward + I took Mary back to Wooster
to attend school.
Thursday Sept 30th
Edward's birthday. Rev Mr Skinner
+ Mr Seymour fo Cleveland spent the night
with us, tomorrow we have a Sab. S meeting in
our church conducted by them.
Friday Oct 1st. Edward Em + I attended
the convention. When we came home we took
the printed programme + told Frank all
we could about the exercises and it seemed
to give him a good deal of pleasure. In the

morning he had [u]dressed himself[/u] and came
from the study to the parlor just before worship
He did not sit up very long afterwards, seemed
entirely exhausted.
Oct 2nd Sat.
Mother + Em went to Mr [?Measts?]
to bid Chloe Brown good bye. Rained considerable
but Frank seemed very comfortable.
[u]Oct 14[/u].
Sabbath School Convention at Amwell
As it was very pleasant in the morning we thought
perhaps Frank would like to go with Edward +
I for the ride. [u]He thought it would be a
good idea and said I did not need to
go unless I wished for he [u]could drive back[/u]
It seemed so strange that he so overestimated
his strength but we told him that we
guessed he had better not attempt it.
It was quite cold down much more
so than we had expected. We left Edward
at the Church + came immediately back.
Frank said he would like to see Sarah
Leitzell + get the mail also on the way
home. We saw Isaac Powers at the P.O.
and he said "[u]Francis[/u], isnt it pretty

4
cold for you this morning?" Frank was
quite amused at being called [u]Francis[/u],
He was very tired [--went--] when he went to
Sarah's + she gave him some stimulant +
insisted on having him stay for dinner. While
he was eating I went to the P.O. + came back
+ read the "Seville Times" to Frank + Sarah.
He was eating some oat meal porridge +
I very much feared it would hurt him. He
laughingly said "Do you allow this?" + we finally
thought perhaps it would not hurt him.
His hands seemed very cold and Sarah
bathed them with alcohol + water, told him he
had prettier hands than any of his sisters to
which I readily assented. HE did not seem
to recover from the effects of this ride to
Amwell for a long time.
Oct 25th Rev Justus Doolittle formerly
of China lectured in the evening. He came
to our house in the morning while I [--w--]had
gone to get some willows for Frank.
In the afternoon Mr D showed his
curiosities to us that he had brought from
China. Frank sat up until he was through

afterwards said there was too much excitement
about such things for him. Soon after this
Alice Crane + her husband called. She told Frank
that he looked 100 % better than when she saw
him in Sept. After she went away he said he
thought that was very encouraging.
Election day. Father + Edward went up
+ [u]voted[/u] early in the afternoon + Frank waited
until Em returned from giving music lessons.
She did not reach home until after three o'clock
+ he said he should be sadly disappointed if
she did not come for he wanted to put in another
vote for Governor. Among the last purchases
Franke made for himself was some flannel
underclothing at Mr Matteson's. When we were
ready to go home he said he did not know how
he could get into the buggy, I told him I would
bring a box that was near but said it
belonged to [u]Boise's[/u] Drug store. I wanted to
call some one to help him but he helped
himself before I had time to get any one.

5
I was with him too one day when he exchanged
his boots for a pair of cloth ones at Mr Kulp's.
He told Mr Kulp that he was very weak + did
not expect to be good for much this winter.
Mr McLaughlin came along and helped him
into the buggy. One of the last times he rode
out we went round by the Methodist Church.
Frank seemed very sad that day, said he
had hoped to be able to work at machines or
beehives in the Spring but that it now seemed
improbable. This was one of the [u]very few[/u]
days when he seemed discouraged about himself.
As we passed George Hay's new house I
told him there were some new houses at the
station I would like to have him see + he
replied "Yes, if I get out again." On another
day we rode by the old Smith place +
looking over [--east--] west saw Father + Edward below
the hill at work. We discussed Capt Bates
new house, nearly completely built on Jas Bells
place. There were some nice pumpkins in
the Capt's field and Frank in his funny

way proposed that we put one under the
seat whenever we went to ride, then we would
soon have a good supply. I took him out
to ride the day that the ladies had their
New England Supper at the Hall. While I went
into the Drug store to get some medicine Mr
Moffit our Methodist minister talked with
Frank + afterwards came into the store and
said to me "Your brother looks very poorly,
he certainly can not stay long".
The day of Jas Whitesides sale
we drove past there so Frank could see the
people , We met Fowler Nettleton + after
driving home I went to Jackson to hear
from Mattie Orr.
Nov 7th Sabbath
I remained at home with Frank.
He sat in the kitchen door + watched the
people going to church then came in and
slept on the lounge I watched him all
the time he was sleeping, [u]so wasted[/u] and
warm with suffering and felt as never
before how [u]surely[/u] our treasure was slipping
away from us. He awoke with a
little start and I felt almost relieved

6
for it often seemed as though he might
sleep himself away, he was so weak, so
frail. His eyes always bright were unu-
sually so during these last months that
he was with us, they seemed as Cynthia's
must have done so clear + blue. Just
before supper he spoke of Dr Bean of Medina
said he wondered if he could do him any good
Afterwards he sat at the corner of the table
and watched us eat, we could never eat much
when he was looking for it seemed hard
for us to enjoy articles of food that were
denied him + we never cooked anything for
the table but what was absolutely necessary.
Nov 8th Monday , Edward went with
Frank to Cleveland. It seemed a dangerous
experiment and we almost feared it would
cost his life but Frank had said for several
days that he would like to see his Dr once
more and as he was feeling pretty com-
fortable and the weather was favorable he
thought he would try + go. We all helped
him get ready + Father took them to the
depot .He said when he came home that

it was very sad to see Frank starting off
in such a condition, looking so feeble, said
he felt very anxious for it seemed a great
risk for him to go, but still perhaps it was
best as he seemed so anxious to go. Em + I
cleaned his bedroom while he was gone as
we knew it could not be done while he was
at home. We put down the carpet that was
[u]Hannah's[/u]. Minerva called in the afternoon, we
were obliged to hurry afterwards to get through
before the train should come in. We talked
of Frank all day, it seemed so strange +
lonely without [u]our invalid[/u] and we knew
that before long we should have dear Frank
gone without the hope of returning. Father
went to the depot and we awaited with
a good deal of anxiety his return for Edward
was to see the Dr unbeknown to Frank in
order to find out what he really thought of
his [--case--] ever being any better and although
we knew that there was probably [u]no[/u]
chance still we were hardly prepared for
the result. Edward said that the Dr
replied to his question "There is nothing

7
to say," that his good him no good
+ he was literally starving to death, that if
he rallied within a few weeks he might possibly
help him some, The Dr [u]seemed[/u] to think that
the reason he had not gained was because he
had not strictly followed his directions in
regard to diet. (This seemed very improbable
to us at the time and we are now convinced
that such was not the case). Frank did
not seem as tired as we had expected he
would. After Edward had told me what the
Dr had said I went back into the sitting
room + Frank reached out his hand as he
always did when he wanted to talk about
anything, so I sat down beside him and
asked him what the Dr said, He replied, he
told me that [--th--] while there was life there was
hope" and says he has raised up me
when they could not turn over in bed", [u]but[/u]
said Frank we know the tricks of these Drs
they sometimes [u]keep[/u] a fellow in bed so as
to have the credit of a wonderful [--case--] cure.
He said the Dr told him he was having
Chronic Diarrhea, said that was news [--to--]

to him, also that he was in danger of having
consumption of the bowels and added "I shall
have a pretty hard time if that is the case
for you know that is what Sarah Leitzell's
mother had. Dear brother how thankful we
all feel that his sufferings were not prolonged
as they often are in such cases. After he had
talked a while he eat his supper + I gave
him the new medicine, He soon went to
bed but was too exhausted by the unusual
exertion of the day to sleep much. Em +
I sat up all night in the sitting room,
we could not feel like going to bed, either
of us for the Dr had told Edward that
Frank was liable to drop away at any time,
that perhaps he would not come back
alive and we never afterwards left him
alone night or day for any length of
time.
Nov 11th Thursday. Frank seemed
about as usual until dinner time.
He was eating in the sitting room while

8
the rest were in the kitchen and he told me
that he had a very strange feeling in his
chest. I called Mother and he went into
the bedroom but grew rapidly worse and suffered
intensely, we did what we could to relieve him,
rubbed him almost constantly, bathed his head
+ applied hot applications to his chest + bowels.
We thought the difficulty was with his
heart as the circulation seemed almost
stopped. He thought he was dying as
did we all for he had never experienced such
distress before. He looked at Father very
earnestly and repeated the words "we have
an [u]Advocate[/u] with the Father, Jesus Christ the
righteous." Father failed to hear and he
repeated it a second time. He said that
he had hoped to live, that it was sometimes
hard to submit to God's will in all things,
that it was hard to leave his friends but
they and he would [u]meet again[/u], He said
"You must only think of me as another
gone before, I shall [u]meet[/u] our loved on the
other side". Em + I were standing at the
head of the bed and we asked him

what word we should send for him to
the ones in China and he told Em to bring
him some lines that were is his bureau
drawer, he took them and read them there
gave them back to her.
"We'll meet again, how sweet the strain-
How soothing is the sound-
Like far off strains of music heard
On some enchanted ground."
He said he would like to have Father talk
to him and give him advice + consolation.
Em told him that it would not be long
until we should all go and Mother said
"Your Father + I will probably go before long"-
I said to him "Darling, you are not afraid
to diE"- And he replied "No, He is able
to save to the uttermost." Cast all your
burdens on the Lord." -- I told him
that Jesus would go with him, that he
was not going alone and repeated the
verse "And God shall wipe away all
tears from their eyes, and there shall be

9
no more [u]death[/u], neither sorrow nor crying
neither shall there be any more pain for the
former things have passed away." Once he closed
his eyes and Em said to me "I dont believe
he will ever open them again"- After about
two hours he began to feel a little easier
+ said "I may not be going now but I
thought it would be a satisfaction to my
friends to know how I feel." After a time
his suffering passed away and it seemed
as though he had been given back from the
dead but we felt that the end could not
be far distant.
Nov 12th. Em went to Wooster for
Mary. Frank was very weal all day
from the effects of the spell yesterday.
Mother was with him all the forenoon,
I going in occasionally. He said to me
once "Oh how well + strong you look, I
wish I could feel as well for a little
while" , I told him that I would gladly
give him a share of my good health,
that I could spare him a good deal [--and--]
+ still be comfortable, While I was in

the sitting room he said to mother "There's
not much comfort in living [u]this[/u] way" and
looking through the door he added "Do you
think so, Clara?" wondering what reply to
make I asked what he said + he repeated the
words of a moment before. I told him he
must think of the comfort he was to us + I
went in + with Mother tried to divert him.
One day when I was alone with
Frank, I do not remember the date, he looked
over his bureau, taking each drawer separately
+ examining everything in it. While looking
over Hannah's things he said that he supposed
they might be doing some one good if they
were sent to the Home Mission, I unfolded
her [?nubia?] and said that we would like
to keep that, it looked so like her, Among
other things he showed me the lilac he had
pressed several years before from Hatties bush,
also some cake he had [--used--] saved from Hattie's
last party. He gave me a narrow scarlet

10
ribbon that was Hannah's also her crochet
needle. He spoke very sadly of the way her
things were disposed of at his house after her
death, said he did not even know who had
her dresses and had no voice about anything.
He did not finish putting back the things
said he was too tired, so he watched me return
them to their places. I felt sure it was the
last time and doubtless he felt the same.
A few days after this he spoke of his
book of Psalms, said that Mother had one
+ he would [u]like[/u] to give it to Mrs Dorsey
but perhaps he [u]ought[/u] to give it to old Mrs
Walleck. I told him that if he wanted to
give it to Mrs Dorsey it seemed as though
he ought to do so.
Nov 19th Mrs Dorsey called to see
Frank, He had just been down town,
Em had taken him down, (the last
time he was ever down) and Mrs Dorsey
said she thought she would wait until

he was rested. Frank sat in his rocking
chair by the south door and was very sociable,
wanted ^her to taste one of his pills and see
what kind of medicine he had to take.
When she went away he said "I dont
know [u]how[/u] I am going to get through the
winter" and looked earnestly at her, thinking
to read her thoughts, she replied "Well Frank
we will [u]hope[/u] for the best." He then told her
to be sure and come again and added
"[u]Dont forget me[/u]." This was the last time
she saw him and she has since said that
she can never forget just how [--h--] earnest he
looked as he said "Dont forget me," After
she had gone Frank said "we will go
down there sometime, the teachers board
there and it would stir me up and make
me feel better". Jesse Crawford called
to see Frank one day + he told him that he
could hardly help envying strong young
men like him.

11
Nov 28th
Eliza Hamsher came quite unex
pectedly this morning to spend the day
with Frank. She did not go into his
room but waited until he was dressed
and came out. He asked her if she thought
he had been [u]gaining flesh[/u] + told hEr all
about his medicine, Dr Salsbury +c +c.
In the afternoon he laid down + I staid
with him for a time. He laughed about
Eliza's talking so fast, said he liked to
hear her but it tired him. Eliza had
told us in the morning that she did
not see how it was [u]possible[/u] for us to have
the least hope of his ever being better, said
there could be [u]no chance[/u], said she had
taked care of Consumptives + they were
never better after looking as badly as he
did. I told Em, + we both thought
that perhaps it was because she had

not seen him for so long, that he looked
so badly to her. Frank remained in
the sitting room while we were eating
dinner, something that it always distress
ed us to have him want do, for it
seemed hard for him to see us eating.
The next morning she left on
the train, When she bade Frank good
bye he said "I consider my recovery
doubtful, but [u]all will be well[/u]." She has
since told us that these were the precise
words that Hannah used the last time
that she saw her. She told him that
Will was coming up to se him + as she
went out of the room she said "Now take
good care of yourself, Frank!" She felt
very badly when she left us, for she thought
a great deal of Frank + she well knew
that she would not see him again.
Nov 29th [u]Thanksgiving[/u],
We all felt that this was the
last Thanksgiving Day that Frank would

12
be with us, and tried to make him as
comfortable as possible. Father, Edward Em
+ I went to Church {Methodist} and Mary
and Mother staid at home. When we
came home we found him eating dinner.
His medicine came in the office and
some papers and best of all some [u]China letters[/u].
He came out unto the sitting room
after a little while and read in that. Y.
Observer {always his favorite paper}, I pinned
the vines on the curtains at the south-
window and he watched me as I worked
with them. His love for flowers was
gratified by his friends who sent him
many beautiful bouquets while flowers
lasted. Mary + Em prepared dinner
+ I staid with him while Mary was
eating + then she came in. After dinner I
read the China letters to him and then
cooked him some oysters, gave him [u]all[/u]
that he wanted. He seemed so comfortable
all the afternoon and in very good spirits
Mrs Caughey + Mrs Zeiglar called towards

evening. He was then lying on the lounge,
talked with them considerable + asked them
to come again. After they went away we all
talked together a long time before he com
plained of being tired. In the evening
Edward drew a map of Jerusalem on one
of the blackboards belonging to the S.S.
Nov 30th. [u]Sarah[/u] came home and
Frank was very glad to see her. He had
suffered a great deal during the day with
pain in his bowels and after trying every
thing we could think of, Mary went to town
for more peppermint. Mother made some
remark about peppermint being [u]poisonous
to dogs[/u] which Frank repeated to us with
a great deal of amusement. The medicine
seemed to relieve him somewhat, he had
been using muriatic acid + thought that was
the cause of his distress. He spent the evening
in talking with Sarah. Matt Patton +
Allie Elliott called one evening to see
him. He was eating his supper and

13
seemed unusually comfortable, Laughed
with them about [u]always knowing[/u] what the
next meal would bring him, said that people
all seemed to think that he used beef in a
[u]raw[/u] state but he didnt see how they received
such an impression. He did not seem much
like an invalid that night, so bright and
cheerful as he looked, [--that night--]. Old Mr
Devin was here a long time in the afternoon.
Frank complained a great deal of the heat +
of a sense of suffocation. He asked me to
count his pulse + I found it 120. I told him
it was very rapid + he said he supposed
that was what made him feel so badly.
He could not get to sleep, but noticed that
I was sleepy + told me to lie down on the
foot of the bed and have a nap, I told
him I could sleep if [u]he[/u] would but he
did not get any sleep. One day while
Sarah was at home, Hester ^Chambers + Mary Hedges
called, Frank was in the sitting room.
We girls went into the parlor and Mary

Hedges told us of her mother's death only
a year before, She had consumption and
Mary said that Frank made her think so
much of her mother's sickness.
Mr Stoakes called, he told Frank
that he thought he looked a well as when
he saw him last, Frank replied that
he expected the cold weather would try him
[u]by + by[/u]. Mrs Hunter called one afternoon
while Sarah was at home, She talked with
Frank a long time, told him about her
daughter Mattie, how after a council of
the best Physicians in the state had given
her up + said she could not live but two
months, she lived five years. She was
very cheerful + lively + Frank seemed hardly
less bright. She told him that she thought
it was a shame for him to be in bed so
much, now that it was such hard times.
He laughed and said that he guessed
he was rather an [--un--]expensive boarder. She
brought him some jelly + some other preparation

14
specially for sick people. His continued
patience about being denied what he craved,
was a marvel to me but he was so anxious
to live that he was willing to do anything
that [u]seemed[/u] best. He said that Mrs Hunter's
voice had tired him, but that ours never did,
it was only strangers voices that tired him.
Rev Mr Moffit called one afternoon
to see Frank. Frank was very glad to
see him + we were all very glad that he came,
he was so kind + sympathetic, just the one to
visit a sick person. Frank was very free
with him. Mr M- talked of the [u]Rest[/u] he
would find in Heaven and how short the time
would seem until all should be gathered there.
Frank spoke of the verses on the tablet on
the wall, of how much they had comforted
him. Mr Moffit offered a very earnest prayer
that he + we might be supported when the
parting should come. [--After--] ^Afterwards he went into the
bedroom and sang to Frank two verses of
the hymn "I am trusting Lord in Thee
Dear Lamb of Cavalry."

After Mr M- left, Sarah Mary + I went into
the bedroom + Frank said "Mr Moffit seems
to think I can never get well but I dont
mean to give up yet, I have outlined a good
many strong men since I was taken sick"
and then he looked up in such an earnest
way, intent on reading our thoughts about it.
We told him that [u]we[/u] did not give him up
yet + in this we were sincere, we thought
that Mr Moffit was deceived not having
seen him. This was only two weeks before
his death + it seems stange [u]we were so deceived[/u].
One afternoon I read [--Dela--]Dell Bronson
to him, he slept a while + then said that I
must consider him an interested listener.
He asked for his quinine powder + put
them one by one into his glycerine bottle +
then laughed about having spoiled it for
[u]Em's hair oil[/u]. He looked [u]so badly[/u] all
day, I called Edward + the girls in during
the afternoon to see if they did not think
he looked much more than usual, In the

15
evening Em bathed his head a long time
while Sarah + Mary entertained him with
incidents of Columbus + Wooster. A short
time previous to the above he fixed our clocks
the [u]last thing[/u] he did for us. he worked at
it a while [--an--] in the sitting room and then
I carried the stand into the bedroom, He
was so pleased when he had put it all together,
said he would have to ask me to put the
weight on, they were so heavy, so I carried
the clock to his bedside and he showed me
how to adjust the weights, laughing a little
at my questions about the mechanism of
a clock, it was all so familiar to him.
Will Hurlburt + John Chambers called
to see him, He told them that he had a good
appetite which was a favorable sign, talkEd
about farming +c +c, told Will he thought
they were pretty lucky to get a boy at their
house (referring to Will's two weeks old baby)
He told them of dreaming the night
before of having a large pumpkin pie

baked on a square tin + of how much good
it did him although but a dream. Complained
of being very tired after they left.
The day that the threshers were here
Frank sat up in the sitting room while
they were eating supper in the kitchen. After
they were through we went out and were so
startled + pained in a moment more to hear
Frank coming. It seemed as though we
could not have him see the table, knowing
what a denial it would be for him to resist
eating, We covered up some of the dishes and
hastily removed others telling him that we
did not want to [u]tempt[/u] him. He said that
it was [u]all right[/u] but he wanted to see how
a table looked again, said he did not care
for much beside bread, He was too tired to
stay long, but insisted on walking back
into the sitting room + as he passed the
[?butlery?] said "Well I [u]saw[/u] five loaves of bread
in there on the shelf anyway", (Dear brother
how sweet the thought that he is now in

16
the land where "they [u]hunger no more[/u], neither
thirst anymore," Cyrus Crane
called [u]early[/u] one morning , Frank was so
ambitious, did not want Cyrus to see him
in bed and so Mother helped him dress
+ he walked out into the sitting room. When
Cyrus left he asked Frank to come down
+ see him + he told him he would some
time if he felt strong enough.
Sabbath Dec 12th
Mother had not been to
church for a long time and in the morning
Frank called me from the sitting room
+ said "Clara I guess we can get along to deny
+ let mother go to Church, Cant we Sis"?
I told him I thought we would do nicely,
at least we certainly would not quarrel.
I brushed his arms, but with an
aching heart, they were [u]so wasted[/], He noticed
that it made me feel badly and said
"Never mind, you are too tender, there is no
danger of hurting me." I combed his hair

+ whiskers + then applied flannels to his
chest as he complained of sever pain
After a time this relieved him and he
seemed quite comfortable. I read to him
from the N.Y. Observer "Ireneas Letters" + "Moody
+ Saukey's work". After dinner I read to
him from the Changed Cross. On a previous
Sabbath several weeks before, Father asked him
of the Sabbaths did not sometimes seem long
to him, always detained from Church. He
replied "Oh I dont know as they do, I have
been thinking all day of the hymn "There is
a land of pure delight", Father then spoke of
death, how the valley was not [--always--] dark
to the Christian + that it was not always
accompanied with physical suffering.
Frank had said to Mother several days
before "Why cling to life when we have a
brighter home?" he told her that he had
hope in view of death for he knew the
[u]believer[/u] would be saved, "I know in whom
I have believed and am persuaded that

17
he is able to keep that which I have committed
unto him. Dec 16th- Sarah went back
to Columbus, but not until she had gone to
Cleveland + seen Dr Salisbury, who told her that
Frank was in no immediate danger, that he
might yet get well, everything depended upon the
care +c. She went in the morning + Frank watched
the buggy out of sight, We tried to divert him as
much as possible from her going. I told him she
was coming home when Henry + Hattie ^came and we
hoped that would not be long, He said "I am
afraid I shall never see Sarah again, I dont know
though", Later in the day he remarked "Oh but
I [u]did[/u] hate to see her go away. I love to see
them around. ([u]Just one week[/u] from that
night she returned but only to find the "[?pricing?]
dust". We did not, [u]could[/u] not think he would
go so soon.) In the evening all went to prayer
meeting but Mother + I, Frank spent all the
evening in tapping his chest + trying to find
out the condition of his lungs, he wished me to
apply iodine thought that might relieve him
some.

[Note: Blank page]

18
Dec 1st Saturday {Omitted by mistake}
In the morning Edward brought down
his blackboard map of Jerusalem + showed it to Frank.
Frank was very much interested in it all,
In the afternoon Edward brought from town a spring
bottom for Frank's bed, It was too large and we
at first thought we would lay it aside until Monday
but after all had gone to bed but " we girls "[--we--] thought
perhaps we could fix it + so we three lifted him on
the floor, matress + all. We were afraid of jarring
him but he seemed to enjoy the proceeding, said it
was very well for [u]him[/u], but he feared not as well
for us. Em + I removed a row of springs while
Mary staid with Frank, who fell asleep during our
short absence. We felt more than rewarded for
our pains by seeing the pleasure it gave him,
it was far more comfortable than before.

Dec 18th Saturday.
Frank seem in unusually good spirits
in the afternoon, called for the "Dr" as he sometimes
called me + wanted to know if I wouldnt prescribe
for him, asked me to count his pulse, found it
was not moving as fast as usual. When any
one of us passed the door during the afternoon he
would look out + say "Bring me a plate of beans,
please, just one plate of beans." He kept us
all laughing a good part of the afternoon, how
well that we did not know that this was the
[u]last[/u] apparent freedom from suffering he ^should know
ere his final release. (We look back to that Sat
as the last day that he seemed, like [u]Frank[/u], so
rested + cheerful.) We had a Rehearsal at the
Church to prepare music for a S.S. Concert to
take place [u]Dec 26th[/u], Mary had planned to stay
with Frank so that Mother could go ^on [u]Sabbath[/u] evening. Had any
one told us that on [u]that[/u] evening. Frank
would be sleeping in his grave beyond our
watchful care, how surprised we should have
been. We felt sorry to leave him but

19
thought he would probably sleep while we were
gone. I went in to arrange his medicines just
before going away + he said "Oh you are all going away."
I told him that after this [u]concert[/u] was over nothing
should call me away, but as I was going to play, it
seemed as though I must go, so I kissed him good
night + told him we should expect to find him
asleep when he returned, we came home + came in
through the back door so he did not waken at all.
One night shortly before he had slept during
the evening and then on until midnight.
Mother went to bed about ten oclock and had
forgotten ^that Frank was not ready for bed. He did
not waken until after 12 and then when I
told him the hour he thought I must be
in sport, said he had only been sleeping
a few minutes, thought it would hardly pay
to "go to bed" if it was so nearly morning.
[u]Dec 19th Sabbath.[u/]
Restless + uncomfortable ^nearly all day.
Mother + Mary staid from Church + Mrs Zeiglar
inquired of me about Frank + I told he rwhat

Salisbury had said on Wednesday, that there
was [--s--] no immediate danger + that he might
yet be better +c. I told her that we felt [u]now[/u]
as though he would live until Henry + Hattie came
home + she replied "Oh I am so glad, I do hope
that he may." When we came home we found
him dressed + looking nice + comfortable, went
in + told him about the S.S + of the Festival the
Church was going to hold on the evening of the
[u]22nd[/u] and of which we did not in the least approve
He said "Well if Mr E-- was different there
would be no such trouble about these things."
Outsiders called it the "Presbyterian Masquerade"
but Frank called it the "Fandang" a word
coined for the occasion. He slept during the
afternoon + did not eat supper until very late,
for some time past he had eaten once during the
night but the Dr positively forbade his doing so
longer + also said that he must not have oysters
Frank said "It seems almost as though
[u]our[/u] way was the best for when I eat in
the night I have more strength for my coughing
spell in the morning, but then I suppose he

20
knows [u]why[/u] it will not do. (He came out
in the sitting room but only for a moment,
said the room was [u]so hot[/u]. Friday afternoon he
^had [u]dressed himself[/u] + walked out without a care
but he then complained of the heat although the
temperature of the room was very low.) He said
he was so [u]very[/u] tired, did not know what he
should do but after a time he seemed rested.
[u]Monday[/u] Dec 20th.
Frank was not able to be dressed
all day + did not raise as much as usual.
He had told Mother that if he stopped raising he
could not live. His chief trouble seemed to be in
his throat. Father told me in the morning that
he thought Frank was failing very fast that
it seemed as though he could not live much
longer. In the evening Amanda Walleck +
Matt Patton called. Frank suffered for a
short time [u]very severely[/u], sweating like rain [--but--]
+ could not get his breath. We fanned him,
rubbed him + gave him whiskey + water but it
was sometime before he was relieved at all

He said several times "Oh I cannot stand this-"
we had hoped that he would escape this distress
of breathing as he had not been troubled at all
before. Father came in + rubbed his feet, the
circulation returned after a little and felt
easier but there was a strange rattling in his
Tuesday Dec 21st
Mary + I were up with him the
latter part of the night. He coughed incessantly
from three o'clock but could not raise anything
+ was very much exhausted in the morning
but afterwards slept some. (Once before when he had
a very serious time coughing, I went in + tried to quiet
him if possible. I was kneeling beside the bed with
one arm over his head when he reached out and
drew me up to him as closely as possible, putting
his head on my shoulder + thus fell asleep for
a few moments and awoke feeling quite rested.)
Mary went to town for beef + stooped at Mrs
Shaw's for onions. Em fixed them on his chest
hoping to stop the rattling. Frank said he would

21
far rather [u]eat[/u] them they looked so good and he
was always so fond of them. I cut the beef [u]all[/u]
up into small pieces, something I had never done
before and said "Why I believe here is enough for
a whole week "+ then the thought crossed my mind
Perhaps he will never need it. In the evening
he seemed very uncomfortable + restless, reaching
out his hand said "Why do you suppose I
cannot sleep?" Every motion showed great unea
sinness but after a time he seemed quiet + I went
up stairs until Em came up + said he had
called for me. I stood at the head of the bed
a long time trying to sooth + quiet him if
possible but only partially succeeded. At 11
oclock Mary took my place + I went to bed.
Could I have known that this was his [u]last[/u]
night, I should now be spared the bitter
remembrance that [u]I slept[/u] while [u]he[/u] commenced
his struggle with Death.

Dec 22nd Wednesday.
Mary + Em were down stairs the first
part of the night + about 3 o'clock Mary
came up + called Mother + I, said that Frank
was worse, we came down found him suffering
a good deal but after a while he seemed more
comfortable and we all thought he would probably
sleep the rest of the night. In the morning
I said "Well Frank the days will now commence
to lengthen and we shall not have quite so much
night. He did not wish me to raise the
curtain as much as usual, said he did not know [u]why[/u]
but the light seemed to hurt his eyes. He coughed
but could not raise at all could not take any
breakfast until very late + then only a little. This
was the first time he had sent away his
breakfast unfinished. Afterwards he looked very
unnatural + seemed to suffer as he had in the
night. We all remained with him until nearly
noon, rubbing him + doing what little we might
to relieve his pain. Edward went down for
Dr Bigham but found he had left on the train

22
Father went down town after dinner + saw
Sarah Leitzell on the street, she gave him some
medicine that had helped her when restless +
thought perhaps it would do him good. When
Father came home he said "Well, you haven't succeeded
in putting your boy to sleep yet." Frank tasted
of the medicine but it distressed him and we
all thought he had better not take it, He seemed
to feel a very strange fear that he might be left alone
for an instant and said "You will [u]not[/u] leave
me, will you?" Father sat down beside him and
repeated to him some verses from Rev and then
asked Frank if he would like to have us sing
but he wearily shook his head, seemingly too
exhausted to speak. I sat beside him holding
his hand for about three hours. Some one
came in every few moments, once he called for
drink and as I rose to go, he said "Oh dont go
wait until some one comes in," For about half
an hour during the afternoon he seemed easy
but could not sleep. He would close his eyes
for a few moments then open them quickly + look
first at his bookcase, then at the tablet, the
missionary faces on the wall + then at me,

this he did again + again. I remember thinking
how very Lord it would be [u]sometime[/u] to put away his
clothes + books but thought "Hattie will be here to help us
+ that will make it a little easier." We gave him
beef tea several times + he asked for seltzer a drink
he had a great deal. He said several times
during the day that what he raised was very different
from usual + asked if I had not noticed it +
I laid my ear on his chest + tried to find out
where the rattling was, Later in the afternoon he
complained of very severe pain in his bowels + wished
us to press over the spot as it relieved the pain some-
what, In the afternoon Mother wrote to Dr [--Ellin--]
Salisbury, I went up stairs while she was writing
+ said "Mothers you will never write again until
Frank has gone" + she said "Why [u]do[/u] you think
so?" I thought he would probably live a day or
two but felt that he would not recover from
this. When I went back Frank asked if [--th--]
the travelling was bad, I said "You would like
to see Dr Bean wouldn't you?" + told him we
would go for him. We thought it would

not heat the stove but he feared it would make
the bed hot. He had been sweating for about
an hour [u]very[/u] profusely, I brought a large handkerchief
+ wiped his forehead + sometimes he would use it
himself. He looked up + said "What [u]do[/u] you suppose
makes me sweat so?" I replied perhaps it is
the pain + he said "I presume that is it,"
Then for an instant the thought came over me
"[u]What if this is the cold sweat of Death?" + I noticed
that his hands were strangely cold but he seemed
so strong + spoke in such a natural tone that
I could not think it [u]possible[/u]. Nothing that
day now seems so sad to me as Mother's trying
to warm the dear cold feet from which the life
had departed. Edward went at 6 oclock
but Dr Bean did not come, having probably been
out of town when the message came. Frank said
"Oh I shall be [u]so[/u] disappointed if Dr Bean does
not come. After Edward came back I had to
tell Frank that Dr Bean did not come but that
Dr Bigham could be here in a few moments.
It was so hard to be obliged to disappoint
him but it had to be done.

24
It seemed [u]so long[/u] before Dr Bigham came
When he came we took him into the parlor +
showed him a few of Dr Salisbury's letters. When
he went into [--th--] Frank's room he said "I am sorry to
see you suffering so much Frank?" Frank told
him that that he had been suffering all day,
The Dr examined his bowels + said that he had
found the spot where the pain was + gave him
a dose of medicine, then calling Em, he went
into the parlor + said "Miss Noyes are you aware
that your brother has a [u]tumor[/u]" She asked him
if anything could be done + he replied "[u]Nothing[/u]
he can not last long, He said he would stay +
see the effect of the medicine, came back into
the bedroom + asked Frank if it distressed him,
telling him what the medicine was. Frank
said "I do not know as it has" + the Dr said he
would give him a full dose then. Frank tried
to take it but said "[u]I cannot swallow[/u]" +
added "[u]I cannot breathe[/u]", I was then at the
head of the bed + in another moment [--Frank--] Dr Bigham
said "[u]Frank, I think you are very rapidly
passing away", [u] It was [u]so[/u] sudden, [u]so[/u] unlooked
for, could it be that he would never speak

again, I said "Frank you are only going home,
we are [u]all[/u] coming by + by" Mary gave a
sob + I said "Wait-- for perhaps he can still hear
us" but the Dr said "He is unconscious - al-most
[u]gone[/u]." Oh for one look, [u]one word more[/u], but us
never again in the life, None of us will ever forget
that last scene, It seemed almost as though
we could [--almost--] watch the ransomed spirits
flight and join with our loved one in the
rapture of greeting which awaited him on the [u]other
side[/u]. Dr Bigham look my "changed cross" from
the bureau + put it under Frank's chin then
said he would go to town and send some one
up + so we were [u]left alone with our dead[/u].
Edward wrote a telegram to Sarah + sent
by him. Mr Stokes + John High came up
very soon. Everything was done by [u]Christian[/u]
hands in the most tender + affectionate manner
for Frank was loved by them all. After they
had laid him out they brought him into the
parlor, we shall ever remember that night
[u]all[/u] was not sad for we rejoiced with him.
He looked so peaceful, so [u]rested[/u], every trace of
suffering gone, he had only "fallen asleep"-

25
"He giveth his loved ones sleep -
Friends the dearest can never this boon bestow,
But He touches the drooping eyElids-
And [u]placid the features grow[/u]"
Mrs Zeiglar, Matt Patton + Mrs McClure
came up + watched with us, such a change from
the nights gone before, now [u]our sufferer[/u] was at rest
+ we were left in sorrow. It was so hard to let
the night wear on + think that we were not
needed by [u]him[/u]. It had been such a sweet
pleasure to care for him. Father Mother +
Edward went to bed + towards morning Em + Mary
went up stairs but only for a little while.
Thursday Dec 23rd.
In the morning Mr McLaughlin came up
+ put ice about him as we wished him buried
on the Sabbath. Mr Elliott + Mr Caughey called
Mrs Dorsey + Amanda Walleck spent the forenoon.
We looked for Sarah all day but she
did not come until night. It was so sad for
her, she had left him only a week before.
No one was with us Thursday night.
We all felt as though we wished to care for him
until the very last.

[u]Friday[/u], it rained all day, Edward Sarah
+ I went down in the afternoon to select a coffin
found one that felt sure would have suited him
We spent the first part of the night in the parlor.
There was a little sewing for him and we each put
in some pitches, We sang "How bless the righteous when he dies"
Edward playing on the piano. We talked of our
brother as only gone before for how could we
think or speak of him as [u]dead[/u] when he had
[u]entered in, to go no more out forever,"
Saturday Dec 25th[/u].
This day was the saddest
of all, we had hardly thought of its being
Christmas. A change took place in his features
+ we feared he would not look natural again, I
went down for Mrs Dorsey but she could not
come up, Matt Patton + Amanda Walleck came
up + we went after Ruth Nye. Mr Stoaks called
to see about the music as they wished to practice
in the evening. In the evening Dr's Bigham
Beech + Platte came up + made an examnation
After they were through, Dr Bigham gave us

26
the result. They had found that acute inflam-
mation had taken place within a few hours of
his death, but said that nothing could have
averted it it was only a marvel that he had
lived so long, They all thought that he must
have suffered probably more than we had thought.
Cousin Gilbert came on the evening train,
we were not looking for him + were so very
glad he came. He brought a beautiful wreath
of flowers which Sarah's [?trust?] friends had sent
to her for the funeral. Mr + Mrs Will Hamsher
+ Jas came but Mrs Jas Hamsher + Josie
did not come up until Sabbath morning.
That [u]last night[/u], he looked very natural,
so hard to think that we must lay him in the
grave.
Sabbath morning quite a number
of friends came up for the service here.
Mr Stoakes + Mr Kuder came quite early
+ dressed the dear one for his last sleep.
After he was placed in the coffin we
gathered around it and looked a long, long

time wishing to remember just how he looked.
Hannah's engagement ring we had placed on
his finger + we loved to think of them as
together. Mary Crane stood beside us and we
thought of that [u]other[/u] one dear to us who had
long since gone home and who was buried far
far away. We longed for our absent ones and
wondered what they were doing. It would have
been such a privilege for them to have been
with us [u]then[/u] as we laid dear Frank to rest.
The services at the house concluded we
went to the Church + found it filled. Sarah
placed the beautiful wreath of flowers on the
coffin. The first to hymns were of our
own selection. The first "How blest the righteous
when he dies" having been sung at Hannah's
funeral + the second "There is a land of pure
delight" one of Frank's special favorites.
Mr Elliott preached from the words,
"The last enemy that shall be destroyed
is [u]Death[/u]." He said he hardly knew how
to address these mourners, that among

[Note: Words in black and blue in different handwriting]
FRANCIS NOYES Frank's Funeral
24
them was one who had often pointed others to
the source of comfort + that they all knew when
to go for needed grace. He spoke of dear Frank,
how he had only gone up higher, joined the church
above where we all hoped to follow, said that
although quiet he had been well known + beloved
by all, that for years his fragile form pale
with suffering had [--yet--] been always at the
house of God (we were disappointed that
Mr Moffit could not be present, he afterwards
made a touching allusion to his visit with
Frank, from his own pulpit) During the
sermon the beautiful sunlight shone on the
coffin, such a fitting emblem of the glorious
sunlight into which his ransomed spirit had
entered. The Choir seemed to sing with much
feeling, the last hymn their own selection, being
"Go to thy rest in peace" and very sweet it
seemed to us all. At the grave, at our request
they sang "Asleep in Jesus, It was hard
[u]very hard[/u] to see the dear form we had so
tenderly cared for + carefully shielded from

[Note: Words in blue in different handwriting]
Frank memorialized
every rude blast thus placed in the cold
dreary tomb but our thoughts went [u]beyond[/u]
to the "city which [--had--] hath foundations,"
where the redeemed are safely shielded from
[u]every[/u] sorrow, released forever from every form
of suffering, [u]there not here[/u] was the home
of our beloved [u]Frank[/u].
"Tossed no more on life's rough billow,
All thy storms of sorrow fled.
Death hath found a quiet pillow
For the faithful Christians head.
Peaceful slumbers, guarding o'er his
lowly bed."

"Oh may we be reunited
With the spirits of the just
Leaving all that sin has blighted
With corruption in the dust
Hear us Jesus, Thou our
Lord our Life our Trust."

Copied for Mattie July 10th 1877
Clara.



8月30日星期一,
莎拉开车过来
到威尔·赫尔伯特家,但弗兰克不觉得
喜欢去,说离中间太近了
那天。
8月31日星期三,
爱德华莎拉和我去了韦茅斯
9月1日。我们回到家,在路上找到了弗兰克
休息室感觉很惨。我给了他
内特尔顿夫人寄给他的话,即
她自己已经病了这么久
她知道如何同情他,
她经常想起他并发送
她的同情。他似乎很高兴 说
她知道生病是什么感觉
很久了,说他们收到了中国
我们不在时的信,还有他的生日
其中的字母。

9 月 5 日安息日。
弗兰克在这期间非常发烧
下午,我们担心他会
生病了,知道他只能忍受一点。
在我学习下一课的时候
安息日他要课本,我们
上次一起看了。课程
是约翰福音第十章的第一部分。
我记得焦急地想知道接下来如何
安息日会找到他。
9 月 6 日星期一。
弗兰克看起来很温暖
吃过早饭就进了北卧室。
弗兰克和莎拉·莱贝尔打电话来看他,
他出来了,虽然几乎不能这样做。
莎拉想要一些他的鳕鱼肝
油,他追着油上楼,带来了
她的一个小条纹葫芦,说
她可以在补丝袜时使用它。
9月7日星期二。
他没有离开他的房间(
南厅)。妈妈和他在一起

2
几乎整个上午,他都告诉她
他害怕自己永远活不下去
看到亨利和海蒂,似乎很伤心
整天气馁,咳嗽了
几乎连续几天
他很虚弱,吃了大剂量的吗啡,睡了一小会儿。
9 月 8 日,星期三。
我们为他准备了书房
他会觉得那里更舒服
Edward Em 和我晚上去镇上
为士兵聚会练习一些音乐
这将在第二天发生。
9 月 9 日星期四。
莎拉去克利夫兰咨询医生
索尔兹伯里关于弗兰克。医生似乎
想着冷漠无足轻重,说
他必须把它穿出来。弗兰克说
当莎拉告诉他他认为
寒冷使他很快筋疲力尽。这
医生给他送了退烧药并告诉他
萨拉过几天给他写信。

士兵聚会在镇上举行
大厅。爱德华·艾姆和我似乎跌倒了
由于音乐的原因几乎是必要的
我们感到非常焦虑,Em 回家了
中午,发现他睡着了。我们来的时候
晚上回家,他正坐着,玛丽
和他在一起,一直在给他读书。
我们尽可能多地告诉他
会议。 Fowler Nettleton 打电话来看他
这似乎对他有很大好处。
妈妈给他刷了很多澡
每一天,它似乎总是使
他更舒服。
9月16日星期四。
莎拉回到哥伦布
今天早上。我决定不回来了
给伍斯特,所以她认为她最好
去哥伦布。弗兰克说,当他吩咐
her good by “莎拉,我会永远想念你
很多”。她照顾了他的药
并且大部分时间都和他在一起。他来了
中午下楼没去
回到晚上。他告诉我我必须
既然莎拉走了,就代替她。
我告诉他我不能保证会填满它

3
但我很乐意尽我所能
为了他。 9月23日星期四。
克洛伊布朗出现了
并度过了一个晚上。她要去加利福尼亚
几天后和弗兰克说再见
告诉他,她希望他很快就会
再次强大。麦克劳克林先生(橱柜制造商)
也叫了几声。他是其中之一
弗兰克最亲密的朋友。
9 月 25 日星期六。
爱德华和我把玛丽带回伍斯特
上学。
9月30日星期四
爱德华的生日。牧师斯金纳先生
和克利夫兰的西摩先生过夜
和我们一起,明天我们在
我们的教会由他们主持。
10 月 1 日星期五。 Edward Em 和我参加了
公约。当我们回家时,我们采取了
打印的程序并告诉了弗兰克
我们可以做一些练习,看起来
给他很大的乐趣。在里面

早上他穿好衣服来了
礼拜前从书房到客厅
之后他没有坐多久,似乎
完全筋疲力尽。
10 月 2 日星期六
妈妈和艾姆去找米斯特先生
向克洛伊布朗说再见。大雨倾盆
但弗兰克似乎很自在。
10 月 14 日。
Amwell 安息日学大会
因为早上非常愉快,我们认为
也许弗兰克想和爱德华一起去
我搭便车。他认为这将是一个
好主意,并说我不需要
除非我希望他能开车回去
他如此高估,似乎很奇怪
他的力量,但我们告诉他,我们
猜想他最好不要尝试。
天气更冷了
所以超出了我们的预期。我们离开了爱德华
在教堂里,马上就回来了。
弗兰克说他想见莎拉
Leitzell 并在途中收到邮件
家。我们看到了Isaac Powers 在邮政局
他说“弗朗西斯,这不是很漂亮吗?

4
你今天早上冷吗?” 弗兰克
很高兴被称为弗朗西斯,
他去的时候很累
莎拉和她给了他一些兴奋剂和
坚持让他留下来吃晚饭。尽管
他在吃饭 我去了邮政局然后回来了
并向弗兰克和莎拉朗读《塞维利亚时报》。
他正在吃一些燕麦粥,
我非常害怕这会伤害他。他
笑道:“你允许吗?”我们终于
想也许这不会伤害他。
他的手似乎很冷,莎拉
用酒精和水给他们洗澡,告诉他他
拥有比他的任何姐妹都漂亮的手
我欣然同意。他似乎没有
从这次骑行的影响中恢复到
安利好久。
10 月 25 日牧师 Justus Doolittle 以前
晚上中国讲课。他来了
早上去我们家的时候
去给弗兰克买些柳树。
下午 D 先生展示了他的
他带给我们的好奇心
中国。弗兰克坐起来直到他说完

后来说太激动了
对他来说这样的事情。在这之后不久
爱丽丝·克兰和她的丈夫打来电话。她告诉弗兰克
他看起来比她看到的时候好 100 %
他在九月。她走后,他说他
认为这是非常令人鼓舞的。
选举日。父亲和爱德华上去
下午早些时候投票,弗兰克等着
直到Em从音乐课回来。
她直到三点多才到家
他说如果
她没来是因为他想换一个
投票给州长。在最后一次购买中
弗兰克为自己做的是一些法兰绒
马特森先生家的内衣。当我们
准备回家他说不知道怎么办
他可以上车,我告诉他我会
带一个在附近但说过的盒子
属于博伊西的药店。我想
叫人来帮助他,但他帮助了
在我有时间得到任何一个之前,他自己。

5
有一天他交换的时候我也和他在一起
他的靴子在库尔普先生家换了一双布靴。
他告诉库尔普先生他很虚弱
不要指望这个冬天会有很多好处。
麦克劳克林先生过来帮助了他
进入越野车。他最后一次骑马
出去我们绕过卫理公会教堂。
那天弗兰克看起来很伤心,他说
曾希望能够在机器上工作或
春天的蜂箱,但现在看来
不可能的。这是为数不多的几个之一
他似乎对自己感到灰心的日子。
当我们经过乔治·海的新房子时,我
告诉他那里有一些新房子
站我想让他看到他
“是的,如果我再出去的话。”另外一个
那天我们骑马经过老史密斯的地方,
向西望去,看到下面的父亲和爱德华
工作中的小山。我们讨论了贝茨上尉
新房子,几乎完全建在 Jas Bells 上
地方。里面有一些漂亮的南瓜
上尉的领域和弗兰克在他的滑稽

方式建议我们在下面放一个
每当我们骑车时就坐下,然后我们会
很快就有了很好的货源。我带他出去
骑在女士们拥有她们的那一天
大厅的新英格兰晚餐。我去的时候
去药店买药先生
与我们的卫理公会牧师莫菲特交谈
弗兰克,后来走进店里,
对我说:“你哥哥看起来很糟糕,
他当然不能久留”。
Jas Whitesides 特卖日
我们开车经过那里,这样弗兰克就可以看到
人,我们遇到了 Fowler Nettleton 之后
开车回家我去杰克逊听
来自玛蒂·奥尔。
11 月 7 日安息日
我和弗兰克呆在家里。
他坐在厨房门口,看着
去教堂的人然后进来了
睡在休息室我看着他
他睡觉的时间,如此浪费,
因痛苦而温暖,从未有过的感觉
在我们的财宝在滑落之前
远离我们。他醒来时带着
小小的开始,我感到几乎如释重负

6
因为他常常看起来好像
自己睡吧,他太虚弱了,所以
脆弱。他的眼睛总是那么明亮,在这最后的几个月里异常明亮
他和我们在一起,他们似乎是辛西娅的
一定做得那么清晰和蓝色。只是
晚饭前他谈到了麦地那的比恩医生
说他想知道他能不能对他有什么好处
之后他坐在桌角
看着我们吃饭,我们永远吃不了多少
当他在寻找的时候似乎很难
让我们享受食物
拒绝了他,我们从来没有煮过任何东西
表,但什么是绝对必要的。
11 月 8 日星期一,爱德华与
弗兰克到克利夫兰。这似乎是一个危险的
实验,我们几乎担心它会
付出了生命,但弗兰克已经说了好几次了
他想见一次医生的日子
更多,因为他感觉很舒服——
强壮,天气很好,他
以为他会试着去。我们都帮助过
他准备好了,父亲带他们去了
仓库。他回家后说

看到弗兰克开始很伤心
在这种情况下,看起来很虚弱,说
他觉得很担心这似乎很棒
他去的风险,但也许它仍然是
最好的,因为他似乎很想去。我和我
他不在的时候打扫了他的卧室
我们知道在他不在的时候这是不可能的
在家。我们放下地毯
汉娜的。下午 Minerva 打来电话,我们
之后不得不赶紧通过
在火车进站之前。我们谈过
弗兰克一整天,这看起来很奇怪,
没有我们的病人孤独,我们知道
不久我们就会有亲爱的弗兰克
走了,没有回来的希望。父亲
去了仓库,我们等待着
他为爱德华的回归感到非常焦虑
是去看弗兰克不认识的医生
为了找出他真正的想法
他变得更好了,虽然
我们知道可能没有
机会仍然是我们几乎没有准备好
结果。爱德华说博士
回答他的问题“没有什么

7
说,“他的好他没有好
他真的快饿死了,如果
他可能会在几周内反弹
帮他一些,医生似乎认为
他没有得到的原因是因为他
没有严格遵守他的指示
关于饮食。 (这似乎不太可能
当时对我们来说,现在我们确信
事实并非如此)。弗兰克做到了
看起来不像我们想象的那么累
将。在爱德华告诉我什么之后
医生说我回到座位上
房间里,弗兰克伸出手,他
当他想谈论的时候总是这样做
任何事,所以我在他身边坐下,
问他医生怎么说,他回答,他
告诉我,虽然有生命
希望”并说他抚养了我
当他们不能在床上翻身时”,但是
弗兰克说我们知道这些医生的诡计
他们有时让一个人躺在床上,以便
有一个奇妙的治疗功劳。
他说医生告诉他他有
慢性腹泻,说那是新闻

对他来说,他也有危险
消耗肠子并补充说“我将
如果是这样的话,会很难过
因为你知道这就是 Sarah Leitzell 的
妈妈有。亲爱的兄弟,我们多么感激
都觉得他的苦难没有延长
因为他们经常在这种情况下。在他拥有之后
聊了一会儿他吃晚饭,我给了
给他新药,他很快就去了
床,但因异常而筋疲力尽
一天的劳累睡得多了。和
我在客厅里坐了一夜,
我们也不想睡觉
因为医生告诉爱德华
弗兰克随时都有可能离开,
也许他不会回来
还活着,之后我们再也没有离开过他
一个人的夜晚或白天的任何长度
时间。
11 月 11 日星期四。弗兰克似乎
大约像往常一样直到晚餐时间。
他在客厅里吃饭的时候

8
其余的都在厨房里,他告诉我
他有一种很奇怪的感觉
胸部。我打电话给妈妈,他走进去
卧室,但迅速恶化并遭受痛苦
强烈地,我们尽我们所能来解救他,
几乎不断地揉他,洗他的头
并在他的胸部和肠道上涂抹热敷。
我们认为困难在于他的
心脏的循环似乎几乎
停了下来。他以为自己快死了
难道我们都因为他从来没有经历过这样
之前的苦恼。他非常看着父亲
认真地重复着“我们有
与天父,耶稣基督的代言人
义人。”父亲没听见,他
重复了第二次。他说过
他曾希望活着,有时
凡事难顺服神的旨意,
很难离开他的朋友,但
他们和他会再见面的,他说
“你只能把我当成另一个
离开之前,我会遇见我们所爱的人
另一边”。Em和我站在
床头,我们问他

我们应该给他发什么消息
那些在中国的,他让 Em 带上
他的一些台词是他的局
抽屉里,他拿过来读了一遍
把它们还给了她。
“我们会再见面的,多么甜蜜的压力
声音多么舒缓
就像远处听到的音乐
在一些迷人的土地上。”
他说他想和父亲谈谈
给他,给他建议和安慰。
Em告诉他不会很久
直到我们都该走了,妈妈说
“你父亲和我可能很快就会去”
我对他说:“亲爱的,你不怕
死”他回答说“不,他能
拯救到极致。” 施放你所有的
主的重担。”我告诉他
耶稣会和他一起去,他
不是一个人去,重复了
诗句“上帝必抹去一切
他们眼中的泪水,将有

9
不再有死亡,不再悲伤或哭泣
也不会有更多的痛苦
以前的事情都过去了。”一旦他关闭
他的眼睛和Em对我说“我不相信
他将永远再次打开它们”-大约之后
两个小时他开始感觉轻松了一些
并说“我现在可能不会去,但我
认为这将是一个令人满意的对我的
朋友们知道我的感受。” 过了一段时间
他的痛苦过去了,似乎
好像他已经从
死了,但我们觉得结局不能
遥不可及。
11 月 12 日。 Em去了Wooster
玛丽。弗兰克一整天都很富裕
从昨天的咒语的影响。
整个上午,妈妈都和他在一起,
我偶尔进去。他对我说
曾经“哦,你看起来多么强壮,我
希望我能感觉好一点
而”,我告诉他我很乐意
让他分享我的健康,
我可以宽恕他
仍然很舒服,当我在的时候

他在客厅里对妈妈说“有
以这种方式生活并没有多少舒适感”和
透过门,他补充道:“你呢?
是这样想的吗,克拉拉?”想知道怎么回答
让我问他说了什么,他重复了一遍
刚才的话。我告诉他他
必须想到他对我们和我的安慰
走进去和母亲一起试图转移他的注意力。
有一天我独自一人
弗兰克,我不记得日期了,他看着
在他的办公桌前,分别拿走每个抽屉
并检查其中的一切。一边看一边
关于汉娜的事情,他说他认为
他们可能会做一些好事,如果他们
被送到家乡使命,我展开
她的努比亚说我们想要
为了保持这一点,它看起来很像她,其中
他给我看了他的丁香花的其他东西
几年前从哈蒂斯灌木丛中压榨,
还有一些他从海蒂那里留的蛋糕
最后的聚会。他给了我一个狭窄的猩红色

10
汉娜的丝带也是她的钩针
针。他非常伤心地谈到她的方式
在她之后,他家的东西被处理掉了
死亡,说他甚至不知道是谁
她的衣服,对任何事情都没有发言权。
他还没有把东西放完
说他太累了,所以他看着我回来
他们到他们的地方。我确信这是
上一次,无疑他也有同样的感觉。
几天后,他谈到了他的
诗篇,说母亲有一个
他想把它给多尔西夫人
但也许他应该把它给老太太
瓦莱克。我告诉他,如果他想
把它给多尔西夫人,好像
他应该这样做。
11 月 19 日 Dorsey 夫人打电话来看
弗兰克,他刚到镇上,
Em 把他打倒了,(最后一个
他曾经沮丧的时候)和多尔西夫人
说她以为她会等到

他休息了。弗兰克坐在他的摇椅上
南门的椅子,非常善于交际,
想让她尝尝他的药丸然后看看
他必须服用什么样的药。
当她离开时,他说“我不
知道我将如何度过难关
冬天”,认真地看着她,心想
为了读懂她的想法,她回答说:“好吧,弗兰克
我们会希望最好的。”然后他告诉她
可以肯定,再来一次并添加
“别忘了我。”这是最后一次
她看到了他,从那以后她就说过
她永远忘不了他的认真
看着他说“别忘了我”,之后
她走了 弗兰克说“我们会去的
那里的某个时候,教师委员会
在那里,它会让我兴奋起来
我感觉好多了”。杰西克劳福德打电话给
有一天去见弗兰克,他告诉他,他
忍不住羡慕年轻的坚强
像他这样的男人。

11
11月28日
伊丽莎·哈姆舍(Eliza Hamsher)来得很不成熟
预计今天早上将度过这一天
与弗兰克。她没有走进他的
房间,但等到他穿好衣服
出来了。他问她是否认为
他长了肉,把一切都告诉了她
关于他的药,索尔斯伯里医生等。
下午他躺下,我站着
陪他一段时间。他笑了
伊丽莎说得太快了,说他喜欢
听到她的声音,但这让他很累。伊丽莎有
早上告诉我们她做到了
看不出我们怎么可能拥有
对他变得更好的最小希望,说
不可能,她说她有
照顾消费者,他们是
在看起来像他一样糟糕之后再好不过了
做过。我告诉了 Em,我们都认为
也许是因为她有

好久没见到他了,他看起来
对她如此糟糕。弗兰克留在
我们吃饭时的客厅
晚餐,总是让人苦恼的事情
教育我们让他想做,为此
他似乎很难看到我们吃饭。
第二天早上她离开了
火车上,当她对弗兰克说好
再见,他说“我考虑我的康复
值得怀疑,但一切都会好起来的。”她有
因为告诉我们这些是准确的
汉娜上次使用的词
她看到了她。她告诉他
威尔正要上前去见他,而她
走出房间她说“现在拿
好好照顾自己,弗兰克!”她觉得
她离开我们的时候非常糟糕,因为她认为
很多弗兰克,她很清楚
她再也见不到他了。
11 月 29 日感恩节,
我们都觉得这是
弗兰克最后一个感恩节

12
和我们在一起,并试图让他成为
尽可能舒适。父亲,爱德华·艾姆
我去了教堂{卫理公会}和玛丽
妈妈呆在家里。什么时候我们
回到家我们发现他在吃晚饭。
他的药进了办公室,一些论文,最重要的是一些中国信件。
他来到客厅
过了一会儿,读了一遍。 Y。
观察者{总是他最喜欢的论文},我固定
南边窗帘上的藤蔓——
窗户,他看着我工作
跟他们。他对花的热爱是
送他来的朋友们对此表示满意
许多美丽的花束,而鲜花
持续了。玛丽和艾姆准备晚餐
玛丽还在的时候我和他待在一起
吃完饭她进来了。晚饭后我
读给他的中国信,然后
给他煮了些牡蛎,全都给了他
他想要的。他看起来很舒服
整个下午,精神很好
Caughey 夫人和 Zeiglar 夫人向

晚上。那时他正躺在休息室里,
和他们谈了很多,问他们
再来。他们走后我们都
在他来之前一起聊了很久
厌倦了。晚上
爱德华在上面画了一张耶路撒冷地图
属于 S.S. 的黑板
11 月 30 日。莎拉回到家,
弗兰克很高兴见到她。他有
白天遭受了很大的痛苦
他的肠子疼痛,在尝试了每一次之后
我们能想到的事,玛丽去了镇上
更多薄荷。妈妈做了一些
关于薄荷有毒的评论
弗兰克向我们重复的狗
很有趣。药
似乎让他松了口气,他有
一直在使用盐酸,并认为那是
他苦恼的原因。他度过了一个晚上
在与莎拉交谈时。马特巴顿和
一天晚上,艾莉·埃利奥特(Allie Elliott)打电话来看
他。他正在吃晚饭,

13
看起来异常舒服,笑了
和他们一起总是知道什么
下顿饭会带他,说人家
似乎所有人都认为他用牛肉
原始状态,但他没有看到他们是如何收到的
这样的印象。他似乎并不多
像那个晚上的病人一样,如此明亮和
他看起来很高兴。老先生
德文下午在这里待了很长时间。
弗兰克抱怨了很多热量和
的窒息感。他让我
数他的脉搏,我发现它是 120。我告诉他
速度非常快,他说他想
这就是让他感觉如此糟糕的原因。
他无法入睡,但注意到
我困了,叫我躺下
到床脚打个盹,我告诉
如果他愿意,我可以睡觉,但他
没有得到任何睡眠。一天的时候
莎拉在家,海丝特·钱伯斯和玛丽·赫奇斯
打电话来,弗兰克在客厅。
我们女孩走进客厅,玛丽

赫奇斯只告诉我们她母亲的死讯
一年前,她有消费和
玛丽说弗兰克让她这么想
她母亲的大部分病。
斯托克斯先生打来电话,他告诉弗兰克
他认为他看起来像一口井
他最后一次见到他,弗兰克回答说
他预计寒冷的天气会考验他
渐渐地。一天下午,亨特夫人打来电话
当莎拉在家时,她和
弗兰克很久,告诉他关于她的事
女儿玛蒂,如何在议会
该州最好的医生给了
她起来说她活不过两个
几个月,她活了五年。她
非常开朗活泼,弗兰克看起来几乎没有
不那么明亮。她告诉他,她认为
他躺在床上真可惜
很多,现在这是如此艰难的时期。
他笑着说他猜到了
他是一个相当昂贵的寄宿生。她
给他带来了一些果冻和一些其他准备工作

14
专门给生病的人。他的继续
对被拒绝他渴望的东西有耐心,
对我来说是一个奇迹,但他很着急
活到他愿意做任何事
这似乎是最好的。他说亨特夫人的
声音让他感到疲倦,但我们从来没有,
只有陌生人的声音让他感到疲倦。
一天下午,莫菲特牧师打来电话
去看弗兰克。弗兰克很高兴
见到他,我们都很高兴他来了,
他是如此善良和富有同情心,只是一个
探望病人。弗兰克很自由
和他一起。 M先生-谈到了他的其余部分
在天堂会发现时间有多短
似乎直到所有人都聚集在那里。
弗兰克谈到了平板电脑上的经文
墙,他们有多少安慰
他。莫菲特先生做了一个非常恳切的祈祷
他和我们可能会得到支持
离别应该到来。之后他进入了
卧室,给弗兰克唱了两首诗
赞美诗“我信靠你的主
亲爱的骑兵羔羊。”

M-先生离开后,我和莎拉玛丽进入
卧室和弗兰克说“莫菲特先生似乎
认为我永远不会好,但我没有
放弃的意思呢,我已经勾勒好了
自从我生病以来,许多强壮的男人”
然后他如此认真地抬起头来
方式,打算阅读我们对它的想法。
我们告诉他我们没有放弃他
然而,在这方面我们是真诚的,我们认为
莫菲特先生被欺骗没有
见过他。这只是两周前
他的死,看来我们被骗了。
一天下午,我读了戴尔布朗森
对他,他睡了一会儿,然后说我
必须将他视为感兴趣的听众。
他要求他的奎宁粉并放
将它们一一放入他的甘油瓶中,然后
然后笑着说把它宠坏了
Em的发油。他看起来很糟糕
那天,我打电话给爱德华和女孩们
下午看看他们有没有想到
他看起来比平时多得多,在
15
晚上Em洗了很久的头
莎拉和玛丽招待他
哥伦布和伍斯特事件。一个简短的
在上述时间之前,他修好了我们的时钟
他为我们做的最后一件事。他曾在
在客厅里待了一会儿,然后
我提着架子进了卧室,他
当他把所有东西放在一起时非常高兴,
说他必须让我把
体重,它们太重了,所以我带着
时钟到他的床边,他给我看了
如何调整权重,笑一点
在我关于机制的问题
时钟,对他来说都是那么的熟悉。
威尔·赫尔伯特和约翰·钱伯斯打电话给
见他,他告诉他们,他有一个很好的
食欲是一个好兆头,talkEd
关于农业等,告诉威尔他想
他们很幸运能在他们的学校找到一个男孩
房子(指威尔两周大的宝宝)
他告诉他们当晚做梦
在吃大南瓜派之前

烤在方形锡上,有多好
这对他来说虽然不过是一场梦。被投诉
他们离开后很累。
脱粒机在这里的那一天
弗兰克坐在客厅里,而
他们在厨房吃晚饭。后
他们通过了我们出去了
又惊又痛
弗兰克来了。好像我们
不能让他看到桌子,知道
拒绝他将是多么的拒绝
吃饭,我们把一些盘子盖起来,
匆忙删除了其他人告诉他我们
不想引诱他。他说过
没关系,但他想看看如何
一张桌子又看了看,说他不在乎
除了面包,他太累了
呆久了,却坚持往回走
走进客厅,当他经过
管家说:“好吧,我看到了五块面包
无论如何都在架子上”,(亲爱的兄弟
他现在的想法是多么甜蜜

16
“他们不再饥饿的土地,也不再
不再渴了,”赛勒斯·克兰
一天一大早打电话给弗兰克
野心勃勃,不想让赛勒斯看到他
在床上,所以妈妈帮他穿衣服
他走进客厅。什么时候
赛勒斯离开了,他让弗兰克下来
看到他,他告诉他他会
如果他觉得自己足够强壮的话。
12月12日安息日
妈妈没去过
教堂很长一段时间和早上
弗兰克在客厅打电话给我
并说“克拉拉,我想我们可以相处来否认
让妈妈去教堂,我们不能姐妹”?
我告诉他我认为我们会做得很好,
至少我们肯定不会吵架。
我擦了擦他的手臂,但用
心痛,他们太浪费了[/],他注意到
这让我感觉很糟糕并说
“算了,你太嫩了,没有
有伤害我的危险。”我梳理了他的头发

和胡须,然后在他的身上涂上法兰绒
胸部因为他抱怨剧烈疼痛
过了一段时间,这让他松了一口气,他
看起来很舒服。我读给他听
来自纽约观察家“Ireneas Letters”和“Moody
和 Saukey 的作品”。晚饭后我读到
他来自改变的十字架。在上一个
几周前的安息日,父亲问他
安息日有时看起来并不长
对他来说,总是被关押在教堂之外。他
回答说:“哦,我不像他们那样知道,我有
整天想着赞美诗“有
一片令人愉悦的土地”,父亲接着谈到
死亡,山谷如何不黑暗
对基督徒来说,并不总是
伴随着身体上的痛苦。
弗兰克几天对妈妈说
在“当我们拥有一个
更明亮的家?”他告诉她,他已经
死亡的希望,因为他知道
信徒会得救,“我知道在谁
我相信并深信

17
他能够保持我所承诺的
给他。 12 月 16 日 - 莎拉回去了
到哥伦布,但直到她去了
克利夫兰见了索尔兹伯里医生,他告诉她
弗兰克没有直接的危险,他
可能会好起来,一切都取决于
照顾等。她早上去了,弗兰克看着
马车看不见了,我们试图转移他的注意力
尽可能远离她。我告诉他她
亨利和海蒂来的时候我们正要回家
希望不会太久,他说:“我是
恐怕我再也见不到莎拉了,我不知道
虽然”,当天晚些时候,他说“哦,但是
我确实讨厌看到她离开。我喜欢看
他们周围。 (仅一周后
晚上她回来却发现“定价
灰尘”。我们没有,想不到他会
这么快就去。)晚上大家都去祈祷了
见面,但妈妈和我,弗兰克花了所有的时间
晚上在拍他的胸口,试图找到
他的肺部状况不佳,他希望我
应用碘剂可能会减轻他的负担
一些。

[注:空白页]
18
12月1日星期六
早上爱德华布鲁特下
他的耶路撒冷黑板地图,并拿给弗兰克看。
弗兰克对这一切都非常感兴趣,
下午,爱德华从镇上带来了一个春天
弗兰克的床底,太大了,我们
起初以为我们会把它搁置到星期一
但毕竟已经上床睡觉了,但“我们女孩”认为
也许我们可以修好它,所以我们三个把他抱起来
地板、床垫等等。我们害怕不和谐
但他似乎很享受这个过程,他说
对他很好,但他担心的不是很好
为我们。 Em 和我卸下了一排弹簧,而
玛丽和弗兰克待在一起,弗兰克在我们的过程中睡着了
短暂缺席。我们觉得得到的不仅仅是回报
看到它给他带来的快乐,我们的痛苦,
比以前舒服多了。

12月18日星期六。
弗兰克似乎精神异常好
下午,他有时会叫“医生”
打电话给我,想知道我是否不会开处方
为了他,让我数他的脉搏,找到了
没有像往常那样快速移动。当任何
我们中的一个人在下午经过了门,他
会看着外面说“给我拿一盘豆子,
拜托,就一盘豆子。”他让我们
整个下午都在笑,怎么样
好吧,我们不知道这是
他应该知道的最后一次明显的免于痛苦的自由
在他最后的释放之前。 (我们回顾那个星期六
最后一天他看起来像弗兰克,所以
休息和快乐。)我们在
教堂为 S.S. 音乐会准备音乐
发生在 12 月 26 日,玛丽原计划留下来
和弗兰克在一起,这样母亲就可以在安息日晚上去。有任何
那天晚上有人告诉我们。坦率
会睡在他的坟墓里
小心谨慎,我们应该有多么惊讶
到过。我们很遗憾离开他,但

19
以为他可能会在我们睡觉的时候睡觉
走了。我刚进去给他安排药
在离开之前,他说:“哦,你们都走了。”
我告诉他,在这场音乐会结束后,一切都结束了
应该叫我走,但是当我要玩的时候,它
看来我必须走了,所以我吻了他好
晚上告诉他我们应该期待找到他
他回来的时候睡着了,我们回家就进来了
穿过后门,所以他根本没有醒来。
在他睡前不久的一个晚上
晚上,然后一直持续到午夜。
妈妈十点左右上床睡觉,
忘记了弗兰克还没准备好睡觉。他做到了
直到 12 点之后才醒来,然后当我
告诉他他认为我一定是什么时候
在运动中,说他只是在睡觉
几分钟,认为它几乎不会支付
如果已经快到早上了,那就去“睡觉”吧。
12 月 19 日安息日。[u/]
几乎一整天都焦躁不安。
母亲和玛丽远离教堂和齐格拉尔夫人
问我关于弗兰克的事,我告诉她什么

索尔兹伯里周三曾表示,
没有直接的危险,他可能
但要更好等等。我告诉她我们现在感觉
好像他会一直活到亨利和海蒂来
回到家,她回答说:“哦,我很高兴,我希望
他可以。”当我们回到家时,我们发现
他穿好衣服,看起来又漂亮又舒服,走了
告诉他关于 S.S 和音乐节的事
教会原定于晚上举行
第 22 次,其中我们一点也不赞成
他说:“好吧,如果 E 先生在那儿不一样的话
在这些事情上不会有这样的麻烦。”
外人称其为“长老会假面舞会”
但弗兰克称它为“饭党”一个字
为这个场合创造的。期间他睡着了
下午,直到很晚才吃晚饭,
有段时间他吃过一次
晚上,但医生明确禁止他这样做
更长,还说他一定不能吃生蚝
弗兰克说:“看起来好像
我们的方式是我吃饭时最好的方式
那晚我咳嗽的力气更大了
早上拼写,但我想他

20
知道为什么它不会做。 (他出来了
在客厅里,但只是片刻,
说房间太热了。周五下午他
自己穿好衣服,漫不经心地走了出去
但他随后抱怨热,虽然
房间的温度很低。)他说
他太累了,不知道他在做什么
应该做的,但过了一段时间他似乎休息了。
12 月 20 日星期一。
弗兰克无法穿好衣服
一整天,并没有像往常那样提高。
他告诉妈妈,如果他停止抚养他
活不下去了。他的主要麻烦似乎在
他的喉咙。早上父亲告诉我
他认为弗兰克很快就失败了
好像他活不下去了
更长。晚上阿曼达·沃莱克和
马特巴顿打来电话。弗兰克遭受了
短时间很厉害,汗如雨下
喘不过气来。我们给他扇风,
揉了揉他,给了他威士忌和水,但它
在他完全松了口气之前的某个时间

他说了好几次“哦,我受不了这个——”
我们曾希望他能摆脱这种痛苦
呼吸,因为他根本没有感到困扰
前。父亲进来揉了揉脚,
循环过了一会儿又回来了,感觉
更容易,但他的声音中有一种奇怪的嘎嘎声
12月21日星期二
玛丽和我和他在一起
后半夜。他不停地咳嗽
从三点钟开始,但不能举起任何东西
早上非常疲惫
但后来睡了一些。 (有一次他有
咳嗽得很厉害,我进去试着安静下来
如果可能的话。我跪在床边
当他伸出手时,一只手臂举过头顶
把我拉到尽可能靠近他的地方,把
他的头靠在我的肩上,就这样睡着了
过了一会儿,醒来感觉很放松。)
玛丽到城里去买牛肉,在太太面前弯下腰。
肖的洋葱。 Em把它们固定在他的胸口
希望能停止吵闹。弗兰克说他会

21
宁可吃它们,它们看起来很好,他
总是那么喜欢他们。我把牛肉都切了
分成小块,我从未做过的事情
之前说“为什么我相信这里就足够了
整整一周“然后我的脑海里闪过这个想法
也许他永远不需要它。晚上
他似乎非常不舒服和不安,伸手去拿
他伸出手说:“你为什么认为我
睡不着?”每一个动作都表现出极大的不安
罪恶,但过了一段时间他似乎很安静,我走了
上楼梯,直到 Em 上来说他已经
呼唤我。我站在床头
很长一段时间试图安抚他,让他安静下来,如果
可能,但只是部分成功。 11 点
上午玛丽代替我上床睡觉。
我能知道这是他的最后一次吗
晚上,我现在应该免于苦涩
记起他开始时我睡着了
他与死亡的斗争。

12月22日星期三。
玛丽和艾姆第一个下楼
晚上的一部分,大约 3 点钟,玛丽
上来给妈妈和我打了电话,说弗兰克
更糟糕的是,我们下来发现他很痛苦
很划算,但过了一段时间他似乎更
很舒服,我们都认为他可能会
睡剩下的晚上。早晨
我说:“好吧,弗兰克,日子就要开始了
延长,我们不会有那么多
夜晚。他不希望我提高
窗帘和往常一样,说他不知道为什么
但光线似乎刺痛了他的眼睛。他咳​​嗽
但根本不能加注不能接受任何
早餐直到很晚才吃完。这个
这是他第一次送走他的
早餐没吃完。后来他看起来很
不自然,似乎像他在
夜晚。我们都和他在一起,直到几乎
中午,揉着他,做我们可能做的小事
来减轻他的痛苦。爱德华下楼
Bigham 医生却发现他已经离开了火车

22
父亲吃完晚饭就下城去了
Sarah Leitzell 在街上,她给了他一些
在她焦躁不安时帮助过她的药物
想也许这对他有好处。什么时候
父亲回到家他说:“好吧,你没有成功
还没让你儿子睡着呢。”弗兰克尝了尝
药,但它让他和我们都很痛苦
所有人都认为他最好不要接受它,他似乎
感到一种非常奇怪的恐惧,害怕他可能会被单独留下
片刻,说“你不会离开
我,你愿意吗?” 父亲在他身边坐下,
向他重复了牧师的一些经文,然后
问弗兰克是否想让我们唱歌
但他疲倦地摇了摇头,似乎也是
累得说不出话来。我坐在他身边抱着
他的手大约三个小时。某个
每隔几分钟就来一次,一旦他要求
喝酒,当我起身准备走时,他说:“哦,别走
等到有人进来,”大约一半
下午一个小时,他看起来很轻松
但睡不着。他会闭上眼睛
片刻,然后快速打开它们并查看
先是在他的书柜上,然后是在平板电脑上,
传教士的脸贴在墙上,然后对着我,

他一次又一次地这样做。我记得想
主啊,总有一天会放下他的
衣服和书,但想“海蒂会来帮助我们
这会让事情变得更容易一些。”我们给了他
喝了几次牛肉茶,他要了苏打水
他有很多。他说了好几遍
白天他养的很不一样
和往常一样,问我是否没有注意到
我把耳朵贴在他的胸口,试图找出
嘎嘎作响的地方,下午晚些时候,他
抱怨他的肠子非常剧烈疼痛并希望
我们按压那个部位,因为它减轻了一些疼痛——
什么,下午妈妈写信给医生
索尔兹伯里,我在她写作的时候上楼梯
并说:“妈妈们,你们永远不会再写,直到
弗兰克走了”,她说“你为什么认为
所以?”我想他可能会活一天或
二但觉得自己恢复不了
这个。当我回去时,弗兰克问是否
旅行很糟糕,我说“你会喜欢
去见比恩医生,你愿意吗?”并告诉他我们
会去找他。我们以为会

不加热炉子,但他担心这会使
床很热。他已经出汗了大约
一个多小时,我带了一条大手帕
擦了擦额头和一些有时他会使用它
自己。他抬起头说:“你猜怎么着?
让我汗流浃背?”我回答说也许是
疼痛,他说:“我想就是这样,”
然后有那么一瞬间我想到了
“万一这是死神的冷汗呢?”我注意到
他的手出奇的冰冷,但他似乎
如此有力,以如此自然的语调说话,
我不认为这是可能的。没什么
现在的日子对我来说似乎很悲伤,因为母亲正在努力
温暖亲爱的冰冷的脚,从那里生活
已经离开了。爱德华六点钟去
但是比恩医生没有来,可能是
消息传来时出城。弗兰克说
“哦,如果比恩医生这样做,我会非常失望
不来。爱德华回来后,我不得不
告诉弗兰克比恩医生没有来,但是
比格姆医生一会儿就到了。
不得不让人失望真是太难了
他,但必须这样做。

24
比格姆医生似乎过了很久才来
当他来的时候,我们带他进了客厅,
给他看了几封索尔兹伯里医生的信。什么时候
他走进弗兰克的房间他说“我很抱歉
看到你这么痛苦弗兰克吗?”弗兰克告诉
他一整天都在受苦,
医生检查了他的肠子说他有
找到疼痛的地方并给了他
一剂药,然后打电话给Em,他去了
走进客厅,说“诺伊斯小姐,你知道吗?
你哥哥有肿瘤”她问他
如果有什么可以做的,他回答说:“没什么
他不能坚持太久,他说他会留下来
看到药效,又回来了
到卧室问弗兰克是否让他难过,
告诉他是什么药。坦率
说“我不知道”,医生说他
那时会给他一个完整的剂量。弗兰克试过了
接受它但说“我无法吞咽”并且
添加“我无法呼吸”,我当时在
床头,又过了一会儿,比格姆医生
说:“弗兰克,我觉得你很快
逝去”,如此突然,如此不为人知
因为,难道他永远不会说话吗?

我又说:“弗兰克,你只是回家,
我们都来来往往”玛丽给了一个
我抽泣着说:“等等——也许他还能听到
我们”,但医生说“他失去知觉——几乎
走了。”哦,一看,多一个字,但我们
一生中再也不会,我们谁也不会忘记
最后一幕,好像
我们可以看被赎的灵魂
飞行并与我们所爱的人一起
另一边等待着他的问候的狂喜
边。比格姆医生看我的“变十字架”
然后把它放在弗兰克的下巴下
说他要去镇上派人来
起来,所以我们和死去的人在一起。
爱德华给莎拉写了一封电报并发送
由他。斯托克斯先生和约翰·海伊上来
很快。一切都由克里斯蒂安完成
以最温柔最深情的方式握手
因为弗兰克深受他们所有人的喜爱。他们之后
已经把他放了出来,他们把他带进了
客厅,我们永远记得那个晚上
一切都不难过,因为我们和他一起欢欣鼓舞。
他看起来那么平静,那么休息,每一个痕迹
痛苦消失了,他只是“睡着了”——

25
“他让他所爱的人安睡——
最亲爱的朋友永远不会得到这样的恩惠,
但他触摸下垂的眼睑——
和平静的特征成长”
Zeiglar 夫人、Matt Patton 和 McClure 夫人
上来和我们一起看,这样的变化
过去的夜晚,现在我们的病人在休息
我们陷入了悲伤。很难让
晚上穿上,认为我们不是
他需要的。曾经如此甜蜜
很高兴照顾他。父亲母亲和
爱德华上床睡觉,走向早晨,艾姆和玛丽
上了楼梯,但只走了一小会儿。
12月23日星期四。
早上麦克劳克林先生来了
我们希望他被埋葬
在安息日。 Elliott 先生和 Caughey 先生打来电话
多尔西夫人和阿曼达·沃莱克度过了整个上午。
我们整天都在寻找莎拉,但她
直到晚上才来。太难过了
她,一周前她才离开他。
星期四晚上没有人和我们在一起。
我们都觉得我们想照顾他
直到最后。

星期五,一整天都在下雨,爱德华莎拉
我下午下楼挑选棺材
找到了一个肯定适合他的
我们在客厅里度过了前半夜。
给他缝了一点针,我们每个人都把
在某些音高中,我们唱着“义人死后多么保佑他”
爱德华弹钢琴。我们谈到了我们的
兄弟,我们怎么能从前
认为或说他已经死了
进入,永远不再出去,”
12 月 25 日星期六。
这一天是最难过的
总而言之,我们几乎没有想到它的存在
圣诞节。他的特征发生了变化
我们担心他看起来不会再自然了,我
去找多尔西太太,但她不能
上来,马特·巴顿和阿曼达·沃莱克来了
起来,我们去追露丝·奈。斯托克斯先生打电话给
看他们想练习的音乐
晚上。晚上医生的比格姆比奇和普拉特上来考试
他们完成后,比格姆医生给了我们

26
结果。他们发现急性炎症
化已发生在几个小时内
他的死,但说没有什么可以
避免了这只是他所拥有的奇迹
活了这么久,他们都认为他必须
遭受的痛苦可能比我们想象的要多。
吉尔伯特表哥乘晚班火车来了,
我们不是在找他,而且非常
很高兴他来了。他带来了一个美丽的花环
莎拉信任的朋友送来的鲜花
给她参加葬礼。威尔·哈姆舍先生和夫人
Jas 来了,但 Jas Hamsher 夫人和 Josie
直到安息日早上才出现。
昨晚,他看起来很自然,
很难想到我们必须把他放在
墓穴。
安息日早上相当多
朋友来这里服务。
斯托克斯先生和库德先生来得很早
为亲爱的人穿上最后一觉。
他被放进棺材后,我们
围在它周围,看起来很长很长

时间希望记住他的样子。
我们戴的汉娜的订婚戒指
他的手指,我们喜欢把它们想象成
一起。玛丽·克兰站在我们身边,我们
想到另一个我们亲爱的人
早已回家 埋葬远方
远处。我们渴望我们缺席的人和
想知道他们在做什么。它会有
对他们来说是一种特权
当我们让亲爱的弗兰克安息时,和我们在一起。
房子的服务结束了我们
去了教堂,发现它充满了。莎拉
把美丽的花环放在
棺材。第一个赞美诗是我们的
自己的选择。第一个“正义的人多么有福
当他死时”在汉娜家唱过
葬礼和第二次“有一片净土
喜悦”弗兰克的特别最爱之一。
埃利奥特先生从这些话中讲道,
“最后一个被消灭的敌人
是死神。”他说他几乎不知道怎么做
为了解决这些哀悼者,其中

【注:黑蓝字不同笔迹】
FRANCIS NOYES 弗兰克的葬礼
24
他们经常向别人指出
安慰的源泉,他们都知道什么时候
去寻求所需的恩典。他谈到亲爱的弗兰克,
他是如何爬得更高,加入了教会
在我们都希望遵循的地方,说
尽管他很安静,但他已广为人知并深受喜爱
总而言之,多年来他脆弱的身躯苍白
带着痛苦一直在
神的家(我们很失望
莫菲特先生不能在场,他后来
对他的访问做了一个感人的典故
弗兰克,来自他自己的讲坛)
布道 美丽的阳光照在
棺材,如此光荣的象征
他被赎回的灵魂所沐浴的阳光
进入。合唱团似乎在唱歌
感觉,最后的赞美诗自己选择,被
“安息吧”,非常甜蜜
在我们所有人看来。在坟墓里,应我们的要求
他们唱着“睡在耶稣里,这很难
很难看到我们如此可爱的样子
被温柔呵护和精心保护

[注:不同笔迹的蓝色字]
弗兰克纪念
每一次粗暴的爆炸都因此被置于寒冷之中
沉闷的坟墓,但我们的思想超越了
到“有根基的城市”
被赎回的人可以安全地远离
每一种悲伤,永远从每一种形式中释放出来
痛苦,这里没有家
我们心爱的弗兰克。
“不再在生活的波涛汹涌中折腾,
你所有的悲伤风暴都逃走了。
死神找到了一个安静的枕头
为忠实的基督徒头。
安宁的沉睡,守护着他的
低床。”

“哦,愿我们重逢
带着正义的精神
离开所有的罪恶已经枯萎
腐败在尘埃中
听我们耶稣,你是我们的
主我们的生命,我们的信任。”

1877 年 7 月 10 日为玛蒂复制
克拉拉。

Original Format

Journal

Citation

Noyes, Clara, “Section of Clara's Journal, August 30th - December 25th 1875,” Letters from Harriet Noyes: Missionaries and Women's Education in Nineteenth Century China, accessed May 25, 2024, https://noyesletters.org/items/show/938.

Output Formats